I never gave much thought to the way I felt towards both females and males growing up. I knew that I found girls pretty as a child and that you really weren't supposed to feel that way, was I ashamed of it? No,but it wasn't something I openly shared either. Going to the all girl Cathedral High School in NYC, I was opened to a new world were there were females who were interested in other females and weren't scared to let anyone else know. I however was honestly going through way to much in my family life in my freshman and sophomore years of high school to even fathom the idea of dating anyone let alone a girl. It wasn't until my second attempt at sophomore year at Bronx Leadership Academy in Bronx, NY where the realization that liking females was more than just something weird about me.
Teresa was the name of the first girl that I ever kissed, and although it was on a dare, it was incredible. Until then nothing came as naturally to me has that did. Teresa and I attempted somewhat of a relationship, however Teresa wasn't the type of girl that wanted to stick to one person, although we stayed friends I never lost the attraction I had to her. I went on in my high school life and attempted one or two relationships with males.
During my senior year I met a girl named Lisa, I had previously been introduced to her but never really gave it much thought because it was one of those quick introductions. When we met the second time around though, she immediately became one of my close friends and someone I saw on a daily basis. I got to know Lisa and began to have feelings for her. Something that I never told her because Lisa had her girlfriend and was very committed to her. It was a feeling I only shared with my best friend and didn't really see the option of acting on.
Life than took me by surprise and I met my husband Ralphy. I fell in love with him and have built a happy life, one that I wouldn't change for the world. We have two beautiful children together and we continue to take life one day at a time and enjoy the love we have together. I have never hidden my feelings for women from my husband, he knows that I find women attractive and I have even told him on a few occasions that if anything would happen to our marriage he would be the last man I would be with. He finds it funny when I say this but for me he is he only man for me literally.
Being Bisexual hasn't had any serious effect on my life. I never really saw it as a determinant to my happiness. I have heard the sayings "Bisexuals are greedy", "They need to pick a side", or "They are just going through a phase". I was never confused or felt the need to go from one sex to the other, I just found attraction and love for people that have come into my life no matter the gender.
Aside from "emotions" do you think the same chemicals during sexual attractions are released with the same sex that occur with the opposite sex? The basis for "attractions and urges"? Or do you feel it's just a psychological perception when it comes to same sex
ReplyDeleteBeing with females hasn't had any direct affect on my life. I've never had an actual relationship with a girl, but I've had interactions and feelings for some. I do find myself more physically attracted to females than males, to me the female form is more appealing by far. Yet I prefer having relationships with men, as emotional as I am i don't feel the need to add another female into the mix as bad as that sounds. I've never been one to speak openly about how I feel about other women. I comment on their looks yes, But other than that I've always felt kind of .. Awkward I guess. You do get the constant stigma of being "confused" And going through a "phase", But I can remember being attracted to other girls as far back as 6th grade. I struggled with those feelings wondering if I was gay, But as I grew older I became more comfortable.
ReplyDelete@ Alex Colon In my opinion I believe that its all related. Obviously for most the physical comes first. There is something about that person that causes you to want to get to know them in more then just a friendly manner. And not every sexual encounter will make you feel the same, this is true of straight relationships as well. Whether or not it is a psychological perception for some I cannot answer and I don't think anyone can. I think it all sits in the hands of the individual in question.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUR BLOG. Your honesty and starting the first entry with your personal story is very brave and wonderful. I love the layout as well. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteIn the early 1990's I lived with a bisexual woman and it was the most difficult relationship I was ever in. Not only did I have to compete with other males but females too. After a while I just conceded and packed my thing and hit the road. I suppose there is a certain amount of resentment toward bisexuals by homosexual because they might see them as being in denial of their homosexuality not realizing that it isn't any easier being an open bisexual.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't think being bi-sexual is a "big deal"...while in college I saw so many girls kissing girls...still till this day I see grown women at parties (women who are with their boyfriends at the party) kissing other women! I'm actually very happy for other people that find their soul mates no matter what the sex/gender! Kudos for being proud of who you are!
ReplyDeleteSorry for late response, but here it goes. In a perfect world, people love freely without labels and people mind their business. In my opinion, bi-sexuals love freely but since they go against the label they are "selfishly playing both teams". Why should we care?! Instead,we should do some self-reflection on why we are reacting to someone else's life when it does not impact us directly. But I do believe that bi-sexuals have a responsibility like everyone else who engages in a relationship to be honest wit their partners about their desires/preferences.
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